Fri, 27 Feb 2009
- Get a Grip!
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There is, in human society, an effect one might call "conservation of seriousness", whereby the amount of seriousness with which a person is taken is constant, and must be divided between himself and the rest of society. The more seriously a person takes himself, the less seriously everyone else will.
This, in my opinion, is why conservatives in the media always get mashed during "round table" discussions and the like. The liberals seem to know how to take the topic seriously, without believing so profoundly that they personally have to be taken seriously. It lets them "roll with the punches" as it were. The conservatives always seem to think that any attack on their argument is a personal one, and let anger take over long before it's warranted. Even when they're right, they still always seem to come off as blow-hards or buffoons.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Fri, 25 Jul 2008
- Adaptation
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If at first you don't succeed, you're probably using a Microsoft product.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 16 Jul 2008
- Home, Sweet Project
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I've learned two things about assemble-it-yourself kits. First, the time they estimate on the box is usually just about right, IF you multiply it by 6. Second, whatever tools it tells you you'll need, always add a sledge hammer, a crowbar, and a bottle of asprin to the list.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 18 Jun 2008
- Technobabble
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So I was watching a congressional hearing on Net-Neutrality the other day, when I realized that not a single person involved in the debate (other than the handful of mostly ignored experts called to testify) had even the slightest clue what they were talking about.
Technical terms in the hands of non-technical people are like machine-guns in the hands of monkeys. You might escape one without taking a hit, but end up in a room-full, and you're done for.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Tue, 03 Jun 2008
- Psychobabble
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Of course cynicism is a defense mechanism! So is an immune system. Should I stop fighting off infections, too?
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Mon, 26 May 2008
- Solipsism
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If it really is all in my head, I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in my imagination!
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Thu, 08 May 2008
- Rationality
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I got an junk email the other day from someone trying to convince me that there must be a god, since DNA is too complex to have 'happened by accident', and is irrefutable evidence of 'intelligent design' (oh yeah, and as Carlin put it "He needs money!"). My first thought was a reasoned response pointing out things like "that's not how evolution works", "evolution and religion *could* both be right to some extent", etc., but after carefully considering the source, I crafted the perfect response. I didn't send it, but I crafted it!
- "Your message was a real eye-opener. Your logic was so insightful, I decided to use it myself in my response to you. The sheer improbability of someone as obviously clueless about how the universe around you works as you are thinking you could convince me of your crazy-ass fundamentalist beliefs by means of such an 'incredibly effective' tool of persuasion as a mass junk-email is undeniable proof that there is, in fact, a consciousness of some kind that must have created you on purpose."
- "Further, that being either has a sick and rather ironic sense of humor, or is an utter idiot. "
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Thu, 01 May 2008
- Mayday!
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I didn't plan it. In fact, I told you not to do it that way. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss my TV show to fix it for you now!
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 16 Apr 2008
- Definition
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Engineering is the art of reconciling what people want to hear with the actual truth.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Tue, 11 Mar 2008
- You Need Help!
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You can tell that a counselor, therapist, or confidant is a good one if when you hear their advice, you realize "That's just what I would have told someone to do in my place. Why didn't I see it before?" There's always a part of you that only others see.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Thu, 21 Feb 2008
- Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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The only people who keep an eye on what police are doing are other police. It seems to me that's roughly equivalent to filling juries with convicted felons.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Thu, 31 Jan 2008
- On Being Right
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Don't get too frustrated if you are right 99% of the time, but no one ever listens to you. If you were right 99% of the time and everybody listened, you'd be crucified for that 1%.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 26 Dec 2007
- Ahh, the "Family Season"
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If family is priceless, does that mean I can't sell them, only give them away? Well, even so, it's still worth it...
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Mon, 18 Jun 2007
- Engineering
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Engineering is the art of reconciling what people want to hear with the actual truth.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Thu, 14 Jun 2007
- On Optimism
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Maybe the rats will evolve intelligence, once our species has collapsed under it's own stupidity.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Fri, 01 Jun 2007
- On Generalizations.
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The often-repeated foolishness that generalizations are inherently bad is a myth perpetuated by people who don't understand what a generalization is. If you don't believe me, stick your hand in a flame.
What's that you say? Fire is too hot to stick your hand in? I could be wrong, but that sounds like one of those 'evil' generalizations to me...
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 30 May 2007
- Observation
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Never accept responsibility for a task unless you also get the full authority to perform it. Look up the term 'Scapegoat'...
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 23 May 2007
- Observation
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To paraphrase from Sherlock Holmes: When you have eliminated the optimal and the feasible, whatever remains, however idiotic, must be the way the customer wants it done.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Fri, 18 May 2007
- YAOOL
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Popularity doesn't make someone an expert. Voting for a politician because some actor or rock star likes his economic policies is like choosing a car because your dog likes how it smells.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Mon, 14 May 2007
- YAOOL
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What is it the idiots know and the rest of us are missing, that keeps them getting promoted?
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Thu, 10 May 2007
- Yet Another Observation On Life
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You know, if Woodstock taught us anything, it's that not everyone looks better naked!
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 09 May 2007
- YAOOL
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True happiness is finding someone who is less of a fool than you are, knows it, and still loves you anyway.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Tue, 01 May 2007
- YAOOL
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Tom Lehrer once likened life to sliding down a razor blade. Do you suppose the pool waiting for us at the bottom is full of lemon juice, or iodine?
Either way it's gonna hurt....
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Sun, 29 Apr 2007
- YAOOL
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There really are people worth listening to. I met one once.
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Sun, 22 Apr 2007
- YAOOL:
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Never say yes the first time. It doesn't matter what the request is...
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Fri, 20 Apr 2007
- YAOOL (Yet Another Observation On Life):
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In my experience, the phrase "We have a problem" can almost always be translated to "I have a problem, and I want you to fix it for me!"
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Wed, 18 Apr 2007
- YAOOL (Yet Another Observation On Life):
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What you need to do is, stop paying attention to people who make statements that begin with "What you need to do is..."
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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Sun, 15 Apr 2007
- Retread Philosophy...
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Alright, so the whole merging process stalled for a while there. For lack of a good way to squeeze in my "Observations" page, I'm just going to repost them here periodically, and sorta get double mileage out of them.
Thus, behold my first official observation on life:
- #1 - Beware any statement or opinion referred to as "common sense". If enough people throw it around for it to be common, there's probably precious little sense in it!
[/Blaise/YAOOL]
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